itslarsyouguys:

YOU’RE a baby

I’M a baby

WE CAN BE BABIES TOGETHER

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

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Posted 6 days ago With 95,116 notes

iamjohnegberttheheirofbreath:

Beck was a real friend

Reblog if you dont shave your legs everyday.

my-herbal-journey:

I just want everyone to see how unrealistic some expectations are.

Posted 6 days ago With 301,248 notes

prasm:

yourscientistfriend:

wheatily:

poots

I laughed so hard at the word poots

These poots are made for walkin

ratatit:

i aspire to get to that level of hot where my hair looks like shit and i smell like black coffee and yesterday’s eyeliner is smudged under my eyes but i still look fine as hell

Posted 6 days ago With 194,590 notes

nointerrruption:

nointerrruption:

how come your lips dont touch when you say touch but they touch when you say separate 

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Posted 1 week ago With 186,078 notes

emmablackery:

imnotkanyewest:

OKAY. OKAY. WHAT THE UNHOLY HELL. OH GOD I’M SO MAD. HANG ON LOOK, KEEP READING THIS AND I PROMISE I’LL BE MORE CALM.

In 2012, a 17-year-old boy named T.J. Lane killed three fellow classmates in a school shooting, and was sentenced to life in jail. But wait, that’s not the worst part. This kid pulled a few nasty stunts to really show how much of a pathetic monstrosity he is. In the courtroom during his trial, he took off his more formal clothing to reveal a white undershirt with the word “KILLER” crudely written on it. He was smiling and laughing while the case progressed through the day. And to top it off, when he was finally sentenced [to life in prison], he turned to the families of the victims he killed, and said, “This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F—- all of you,” before flicking them off. As if this sick waste of human life couldn’t get any more disgusting.

AND NOW, FOR THE DAMN KICKER: This vile animal has somehow managed to fucking escape prison with a fellow inmate, and is currently on the run. I urge any and all of you to spread this info around and be fully aware of the tragedy this vermin has caused. He must be found and apprehended as soon as possible, and if I’ve made anyone more aware, I’ve helped this cause.

I WANT HIM OFF THE STREETS AND AWAY FROM EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW INFURIATED I AM. I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY OBSCENE LANGUAGE BUT I’M PISSED OFF AT THE AMERICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM AND THIS IS ONLY ANOTHER NAIL IN THE COFFIN.

Fucker’s been caught and returned to the facility, as has the other inmate. I’m all for spreading awareness of how twisted this monster is, but let’s not misinform. He’s back where he should be.